Pillow Talk

How to Get What You Really Want In Bed

When it comes to getting what you really want in the bedroom, many people just don’t know how to say it. Most are…

1. Afraid what their partner may think
2. Don’t exactly know how to say it
3. Think that what they are requesting is just too freaky

None of these excuses live up to the real need of being satisfied sexually. If you are in a relationship and you are not getting what you want…the truth is half of the blame is yours.

When you are with a person that really cares about your sexual needs, they are going to at least want to know what you think. If you keep it to yourself, then they are going to think you are happy with the sex or at the worst, think you are hiding something from them…

Which you are.

Here are some things you need to understand about sexual communication or pillow talk if you are going to get real satisfaction in the bedroom…

Getting Comfortable With Sex

The most powerful form of love making is when you are comfortable with each other. That can either take a long time to figure out or a couple of evenings. If you are looking to get going in a tonight then there are a couple of things to get over.

You Are a Freak

Do you remember when you were 4 years old and the thought of kissing someone made you yell “Eww”? Or how about when you swore you would never give oral sex? For that matter, how about when you swore you would never do half of the things you do now?

You have million of nerve endings in your body that crave to be touched and so does your partner. So you can let go of all of the inhibitions and “issues” that have been holding you back. At some point in your life, all of the things you thought were taboo are going to be your new pleasures. Wouldn’t it be great if you could share those with your partner…now?

Sex
The Most Powerful Form of Communication

Cut out the “Whose is this?” or the “Oh, yes…right here” or the “That’s my spot” and there is really nothing sensible said when having sex. However, sex is the deepest form of communication. But most people don’t talk about it at the deepest level with each other.

Many people just assume that the way they know how to have sex is the way it is supposed to be. Can you imagine two people who have had sex with other people getting together for the first time but not ever talking about it? It can be a formula for disaster.

Tell the Complete Truth to Each Other

As hard as it may seem, you can not have good sex without telling the truth about what you want. That may not seem to be the easiest thing to do but it is necessary.

This may not be something to do on the first date. You can take your time but you have to let your feelings known at some point.

The Write and Rank Technique for
Getting What You Want

Here is an easy way to get the “Great sex” conversation started. Write down a list of things that you like about sex. It is a good idea to even include things you have never tried. In a column next to that list, pick a number between one and ten with ten being the highest of what you think of that sexual act.

It does not matter if you have experienced the act before…all of that will come out when the conversation starts. Remember to get as detailed as possible. Add another column for your partner to write where they rank that sexual act. Here is what it would look like…

The Act

My Rank

Your Rank

Oral sex

10

8

Pulling hair

7

10

Ass smacking

8

9

69 position

9

6

Doggy style

10

10

This list can get really long really quick. A couple of things will happen once you start talking about your list.

1. You will start thinking of things to do that you have never tried
2. Your partner will add things to the list to be ranked
3. You will find out that there are some things your partner has wanted to try but (like you) were afraid to talk about

You will be amazed at what happens when you get a chance to really open up with your partner. Many people have successfully used this technique. You can too. Starting tonight.

Have fun,

Adam Joles
Fly Zones Staff Writer